“If you choose to see everything as a miracle, then where you are right now is perfect. There is nowhere to run to; there is nothing else to do except be in this moment and allow what is to be. From that place of radical acceptance, major change can happen. The first step in any transformational experience is acceptance and surrender to the present moment, the way it is. From that place we have the awareness, humility, and power to change what is.”-Mastin Kipp
I was driving home from a trip to the Farmer’s Market this morning, and found myself in total awe of the sky above me. I pass over a bridge to get home, which is above clear, pristine water. The sky above was bright blue, with intermittent and beautiful white clouds. The bridge I was driving over seemed to melt the water and sky together, and suddenly everything seemed to be the perfect image of heaven.
I noticed this while feeling an immense and powerful amount of gratitude and grace for the beautiful life I am blessed to live. I feel very much supported by grace, and support by the flow of life. This current of grace than drives me forward, stepping closer and closer to the person I am meant to be.
Overwhelmed in all this beauty, I flashed back to where I was just a year ago. I was having a difficult time finding a meaningful job after leaving wilderness therapy. I was living with all of my best friends, but was afraid to leave the comfort of that home to follow my heart across the country. The more I fought the pull of my heart to leave Utah and travel to the unknown, the less supported I felt by life.
Finally, one day I was driving home after midnight and was stopped at a stop light. The person behind me suddenly thought the light had turned green (it was still red) and they slammed into the back of my car. I sat totally stunned for a moment, and then signaled to get over so we could move out of the lane and assess the damage. Right when I did that, the person behind me floored their gas pedal and drove away. It was a hit and run.
Thankfully, and gracefully, this hit and run did no damage to my car. I was pretty jarred afterward, and felt so much anger to the guy who would flee the scene of such a petty incident. I cried the rest of the way home, feeling anger toward this man and all of his flaws, and feeling anger that life seemed so against me.
The next day I went to a yoga class, and the theme of the class was forgiveness.I laughed.
All I could think was ‘Okay, I read you loud and clear.’ It’s my time to make a move.
I tried to let go of my anger toward the incident, and instead opened myself up (as best I could) to the lesson. Something within me took the whole ordeal as a sign: I needed to listen to my heart. The longer I pushed away from what felt right, the less I would be in the flow of the universe. The more I would have minor incidents blocking my path. Life would continue to prove itself a struggle unless I found a way to surrender to grace.
A few weeks later, I followed my heart and moved across the country to the unknown. Though there were, and still are, hiccups along the way (like a tire blowout, commuting, leaving friends)–I’ve never felt so in the flow of life as I have since embarking on this move.
Things have had a miraculous way of working out, and every morning I wake up in total awe of how beautiful life is. Not to say things are perfect or that I don’t miss the adventures and mountains of Utah. But the more I step out of my head, and look to lead life with my heart the more clear I can hear my purpose. The more opportunities present themselves. And the more enjoyment and fulfillment I’ve found in simply living my day-to-day life.
I’m still learning this lesson over and over again as I tune into the frequency of my heart, and let fear of change and growth take a back seat. It’s a process, but I’m finding that the more I surrender and offer gratitude, the more life supports me along this journey in unforeseen ways.